Monday, January 30, 2006
most of the time, i feel so bad for being happy and i donno why.
aniwae, yesterday, i met up wif anaz. and his family. and guess wat? and then, wif my family. haha. tats swit. we all met up at marina square, grabbed a bite at LJS and then headed by the sea along esplanade. we enjoyed the breeze very much. i was quite nervous about our parents meeting up but things turned out orite. alhamdulilah. it was gOoOd, actually. muahahaha. finally. onli. they didnt get to meet my brother, iq. who was resting at home. so, ya. chinese new year. the union of the two families. how swit.
wah. ur family dah kenal guy baru u eh sayang?
haha. gini fan dah takleh tunggu ah. haha.
i cant stop feeling helpless and sad thinking of our past. but i noe very well that i should not blame myself 100%. it's god's will that we are not together. though, i had love him very much. too much. and thats maybe why i haven got over us. but now im attached again, and happily attached that it, i shouldnt stop myself from experiencing the happiness i deserve. coz i love anaz very much. and he's my life now.
tears are not stopping but still life has to go on. no matter wat. i have to get over it, or i'll never move forward.
sometimes, the further i move away from him, the more scared i get. but, at the end of the day, i noe tat i have anaz to hold my hands strong and lead me the way. he's always there for me, i noe. and i love him very much.
i wont wanna dwell too much about the past. i can never turn back time. and it's all to late to erase events. things happen. coz they meant to happen. even, how much we dun want things to be tat way. Allah noes us best, and will give us wat we should get. be thankful. it's always for the better. for now. alhamdulilah.
noted@
6:19 AM
free me to fly on my own
