Friday, June 30, 2006
today is friday. it's supposed to be TGIF. thank god it's friday. but no.
i feel pathetic.
noted@
11:48 PM
free me to fly on my own
Thursday, June 29, 2006
im tired. lesson plans n more farm animals stuff. im beated.
im hope he understands wat exactly im occupied n bz wif. nothing else than skul.
tmr i have training. again, it will be another long n draggy day.
tink it's best i start on my lesson plans now. donkey vs horse. shoot me d similarities n differences.
im off. love u anaz. love u frens. love every single people tat walks in n out of my life.
thx for even dropping by.
With both heart and mind, we can build caring communities, design schools that develop children's wisdom and emotional strength along with their intellect and physical strength, and operate institutions with balance, intelligence and appreciation for people and the environment.
noted@
12:21 AM
free me to fly on my own
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Peter Pan - Semua Tentang Kita
Waktu terasa semakin berlalu,
Tinggalkan cerita tentang kita...
Akan tiada lagi kini tawamu,
Untuk hapuskan semua sepi di hati...
Ada cerita tentang aku dan dia,
Dan kita bersama saat dulu kala...
Ada cerita tentang masa yang indah,
Saat kita berduka saat kita tertawa...
Teringat di saat kita tertawa bersama,
Ceritakan semua tentang kita...
Ada cerita tentang aku dan dia,
Dan kita bersama saat dulu kala...
Ada cerita tentang masa yang indah,
Saat kita berduka saat kita tertawa...
Story of my life
Story of my life
Searching for the right
But it keeps avoiding me
Sorrow in my soul
Cause it seems that wrong
Really loves my company
He's more than a man
And this is more than love
The reason that the sky is blue
But clouds are rolling in
Because I'm gone again
And to him I just can't be true
And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying
I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer
I feel it in the air
As I'm doing my hair
Preparing for another date
A kiss up on my cheek
He's here reluctantly
As if I'm gonna be out late
I say I won't be long
Just hanging with the girls
A lie I didn't have to tell
Because we both know
Where I'm about to go
And we know it very well
Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying
I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer
Our Love, his trust
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head
Get it over with
I don't wanna do this
Anymore (anymore)
I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer (a murderer)
No no no no
Yeah yeah yeah
noted@
7:21 AM
free me to fly on my own
Saturday, June 24, 2006
he's here. it's kinda cool. he slept over at my place. but of course, authorised by deary parents. he got guard duty tis mg at 7. so ya, he slept on iq's bed. his hp got confiscated sey! not fair at all.
anw, ysterday was mss agm. it was kinda boring. until azri came in n gave sparks to the program. hehe. my hero. i didnt get any position but i was phew....u noe wat they nominated me as? treasurer n publication? so not me. haha. i told asyura i would run away if i get any of these 2 positions. thank god. i didnt. mayb hikmah. mayb i wasnt good enuff. haha. but i enjoyed it. special credits to asyura, masyi, alfian n of course my beloved baby boi, anaz.
catch up later...
noted@
6:59 AM
free me to fly on my own
Thursday, June 22, 2006
i miss anaz a lot. hope to c him on friday.
we gotta attend agm. c how it goes. will i b selected? haha. kinda curious. pls. i begged u all. (who's d all? haha) i refused a treasurer post. haha.
if he refuses to msg me, talk to me, look at me, i dont have much say. i cant force him to still make me present in his life. but he will always be in mine.
anw, saw his bro today. rafiq still acknowledged me.
will he still be? or m i reli gone from his mind? n life...
If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.
noted@
12:51 AM
free me to fly on my own
today was a total occupied day.
started off wif an early morning wake up. got ready n went off to meet kak izah n nadiah. we made our way to visit abg fir at selarang prison at changi. it was a long draggy journey. we took bus 985 all d way to kallang, then took bus 2, turning here n there, squezzing its way ard d small roads at bedok, tanah merah, kallang, expo etc. finally, we reached d place after getting a bad motion sickness. anw, i was kinda calm. though i've not met him in ages, i can still feel some attachment between us. mayb bcoz of d fact tat we were once very close during our childhood days. we went in after moments of waiting. then i saw him. i could recognise him straight away. wif his plastic spectacles, he stood there waiting for us. he was kinda surprised to see me tagging along. haha. it was kinda swit scary senario. then, we exchanged news. most of d time, kak izah n abg fir were talking. i wouldnt wana take unnecessary time coz it would be most beneficial for d couple to talk n express their LOVE? hehe.
Care is the ingredient that keeps true friendships alive despite separation, distance, or time. Care gives latitude to another person and gets you past the dislikes and annoyances. Quite simply, caring sustains love.
then, we went home. i spent some time wif nadiah after tat. eating old chunky. kinda fun hanging out wif my younger cousin. should do tat more often.
after tat, i set time to meet up wif nadt at cozway. while waiting for dearest princess, i spotted this artist couple performing some stuff in front of boots n shoes. they were painted snowy silver. d lady looked like narnia, princess witch. haha. kinda cute n very creative n interesting. i took endless photos n also recorded some videos. haha. wif my n70, things ard r easily managed n done. *winks*
then, nadt came. we strolled ard cozway, went to eat then headed over her place. lepak ar! ape lagi. wif snacks, we played sudoku. haha. im beginning to be hooked to d game. gotta buy d book real soon. the, i decided to cut my hair. snip! snip! snip! cut it real short. cant tie at all. haha. but im hepi. i feel good.
we went back, n farna came along shortly after. we hanged out n we were having all-girls fun. mepek jokes n all. haha. the, mama came home wif bbq chicken. we dug in n headed home.
i was having fun n pre-occupied d whole time tat i was not reli tinking of anaz. of course i was! but i guess trying not to tink of him so much is good coz it helps me feel less worried. just keeping in mind this.
he loves me n i love him.
noted@
12:07 AM
free me to fly on my own
Sunday, June 18, 2006
one life.
love it.
honour it.
respect it.
appreciate it.
live it.
rfah just msg me something. it's like super strange. but somehow i feel hepi.
wishing a special someone a good nite sleep n swit dreams. happiness is awaiting u tmr. winkwink. gd nite :>
isnt tat kinda freaky?
haha. but life's always been like tat. muah muah muah!
noted@
11:42 PM
free me to fly on my own
nitey baby. too bad ur hp got confiscated.
anw, stop tinking i n mashardi has aniting more than friends. even tat u cant accept. then ya, it will just go off. like any other guy friends i was going to have.
friday was anaz's graduation ceremony. n it was also fan's.
i saw him. n guess my instant rection.
i cried. hard.
it has been a year long. i tot he has escaped from this heart of mine. but he has not.
noted@
11:14 PM
free me to fly on my own
Friday, June 16, 2006
i noe i shouldnt. but ya, i miss him.
back to reality, i've decided not to work at guardian. coz it's only like 4.6o bucks per hour. cant survive. maybe , i'll better stick to tutoring. haha. just now, after d interview, i went out wif kak iza. we sat down at coffee bean, boat quay. from 7 to 9+. fun la. we just like sat n talk n talk n talk. i enjoy stuff like tis. mostly about abg fir. most of d time, i just hear her out. i feel kinda good listening to her expressing herself. i want her to feel good, lighter wif d burden of d trains of thoughts. i guess tats d least i can do as a cuz. n wat she is doing for my cuz. we kinda click. n i love d time we spent wif each other. we shared d same frequency. good. i loike!
anw, anaz called but we didnt get d chance to talk. coz i was still wif kak iza. anw, i tink he's kinda mad at me. after tat, i tried calling him. his hp was off. positively, his batt went flat i tink. i'll wake up early tmr n wait up for him at d bus stop. he said he'll be let go at 12. so is 10am early enough?
noted@
1:44 AM
free me to fly on my own
Thursday, June 15, 2006
anaz's in ns already. miss him. but im okie. fine. coz i noe i have him here. in my heart.
anw, met a 29 year old chap last week. we just got to noe each other at dw. supposedly, he's my manager. lalala. but i didnt stay there long. not my cup of tea. but we still keep in touch. i c him as my godbrother. nice talking to him.
i went to meet liyana, nin n mariam just now at bugis. did proj then jalan2 for a while. boring then, coz got no other plans n went hm early. got a kol from dear. he sounded happy. i just love him so much. said tat his platoon got punished. but he's proud to say tat he's not part of d prob. he didnt smoke. n im so proud of him. love him. i repeat. love him lots!
noted@
12:50 AM
free me to fly on my own
Saturday, June 10, 2006
yesterday we finally went out. finally! he picked me up from skul n we headed for my job interview at tanjong pagar. d interview was okie. i was hoping to get it if it is decent enough. anw, i have a follow-up interview today. so after d interview, we went to marina square. ate at ljs n watched SLITHERS. it was a gross movie. kinda chessy n crappy. then, ayah picked us up n we headed for simpang bedok food centre. n then we headed hm. it was simple. yet, i enjoyed it so much. we sat at d back of d pick-up n kinda recall our meet-ups n stuff last time. like d fun old days. im fully contented upon reaching hm. amin.
noted@
9:57 AM
free me to fly on my own
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
im empty. n i wonder y...
noted@
4:07 AM
free me to fly on my own
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
im home. alone. haha. 2 surprises ryte. 1st fact is tat im ALONE. the 2nd would be tat im home this early. 6.37pm, tuesday.
met him a few seconds this morning. i wasnt in a mood, but i was trying hard to be nice n decent.
anw, he gave me a this msg.
awak, i hurt n pained u a lot lately. ur eyes tell me everything. the pain n silent suffering. im sori 4 all tis if thr is anithing i can do 2 make up 4 it, tell me.
i didnt reply anything. but just felt like shouting out back. must i tell u wat to do? r u tat dumb?
noted@
6:38 PM
free me to fly on my own
Monday, June 05, 2006
sitted at mss after prayer. im feeling rather low n quiet. iq took my charger away to his hotel n im stuck wif a fact tat i cant possibly change. my hp batt had lost its battle to surviving till tnite. it died at 11.47am this morning. innalilah. i guess tats god's will and like i always say, behind every happening moment, tats always HiKMaH.
is there any way i could change d way i feel ryte now? helpless n lonely n lost...
he kept working n working till d very day he will be in ns. i guess, i have to get use to it.
must i?
do i have to?
i hate it to d core!
but i kept asking myself. im feeling so damn it irritating n a thousand different kinds of frustration. but still, y m i holding on? i feel stupid at times. sometimes. but otherwise d other have of d time.
i do not want to tink.
im tired. n i need to rest.
my heart. my mind. myself.
my love.
noted@
6:17 PM
free me to fly on my own
