Friday, February 24, 2006
just finished my exam. child development. it was wateva. i couldnt care less. i was practically crying the entire exam moment. ma told me that she saw him wif a gal. good for him, i noe. but i couldnt help feeling so helpless. i just couldnt stop crying. suddenly the heart felt so heavy. and i still am sobbing. but i feel good. good for him that he had his life back. i wish him nothing but the very best. he deserve the happiness. he deserve happiness more than i do. it's orite. it's orite. everything is gonna be okie. just tat, i couldnt adjust and adapt very well. i knew tat this is coming. i've prepared mentally. but not fully, i guess. i just hate the feeling. the feeling of feeling sTuPiD. y do i still have to feel this way and cry? i feel so stupid. i am.
noted@
3:59 PM
free me to fly on my own
Friday, February 10, 2006
it has been a bz 2-week straight since the start of the month. assignments and school is going to be over real soon. as soon as in 5 days time. wow. cant wait for the moment free from doing endless projects.
today, has been a fairly good day. at least i overcome and got over my presentation about sang nila utama, myopia and contact lens. haha. i didnt feel very good though. ya. he asked for ladyelle's no. and msg2 her. not tat im jealous or aniting like tat. i noe i have been like treating him bad. he msg2 but most of the time, i didnt reply. either i was too tired and bz to reply, or i simply cant be bothered. not tat i dont care about him. i do. he was a special someone and still is someone special to me but it's different now. i have anaz and i love him. and i noe he loves me too. i cant go on treating fan the way i treated him when he was wif me. he has to understand. who says im forgetting him. no. but in other ways of showing care and concern and appreciated his existence in my life. im sure he was disappear soon bcoz of the way i treated him but i have no other way. he has too move on. im evil. i noe. but im also an angel.
2 days in a row. wow. i've been loving spending my time wif anaz. we went around town yesterday and the day before, to shop and eat, shop and eat. aniwae, he bought me a dress i wanted. i black white thigh-length dress. and a taxi picture g. haha. so cute. for fun joy and laughter. we watched 'casanova' yesterday. as previously known, he WAS one, claimed by others. haha. and i noe the truths and secrets about them. aniwae, it was a nice movie. mayb a little sleepy and draggy for me. eating sakura, thosai at seranggon. ya, i noe. i dragged him there. im just simply attracted to thosai, of all food. haha. yummm! loving it.
during the open house performance, adiratnas performed at the atrium. it was alright. just another piece of exposure and experience. aniwae, greenery cc called me. they are confirming my schedule working hours during the holidays. yup. i really wana keep myself bz. yahoo...
last sunday, abang im bersanding. it was a fairly joyful occasion. there's dance and dk performance. after tat, left wif me, alfian, rizal and dilah and we made our way to holland village coffee bean to chill and talk. it was a nice session and it did gave me a deeper idea of the new company of people i never really have a chance to mix wif. it was goOod.
im so bored! shit!
he abused me wif hugs and kissses. gonna file a police report against him after this.
noted@
4:04 PM
free me to fly on my own
