Saturday, September 30, 2006

life has been so much harder since u left me for ns.
times have been so bad.
u made me cry.
u made me go crazy.

but at d end of d day,
u'll still be d one i come back to.
coz it's in u, i feel d strength.
my pillar of hope.
d one to wipe my tears away.
i feel secure in ur arms.

n i know u'll take care of me.
noted@11:56 PM
free me to fly on my own

Thursday, September 28, 2006

i couldnt sleep. AGAIN. it's 4.30 in d wee hours on thursday n i couldnt even shut my eyes. they were so used to resting later morning till afternoon. let them be. n let me be like tis. had a stupid arguement wif him. omg. help me get out of tis always-argue-about-stupid-tingy-esp-when-u-r-tired tingy. im sick of it. n it hurts a lot. such a communication breakdown. im always lonely during these holiday terms. lonely but i was decent enuff. n we always blew up d little time we had for chats. it sucked big time. n i hate it. i hate all tis.

i feel empty occasionally. im feeling it now. onli tis time i feel really empty deep deep down.
noted@4:35 AM
free me to fly on my own

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

i cant sleep again. as always. yesterday was my last day wif netty. tutoring her was a whole lot of fun. we clicked and shared the same frequency level of ality n interaction n these had made it easier to tutor her. gona miss her. though im super very nervous for her, taking her psle in a weeks' time. insya'allah. she has worked very hard n i know she can do it.

since puasa, i've been talking lesser wif az. he's always so tired. omg. i truly miss him. it made me feel so lifeless n weak everytime i think about him. n he's not a smart person to convince me tat. haha. but i understand d situation though. it has been 3 months. 3 MORE months till pop is nothing ryte. ryte guys? come on, support me.

anw, had a nitemare abt fan last nite. or should i mention morning? i hope it's not true at all awk. everyone's in ur family is fine ryte? wanted to kol or msg like i always do when i felt a twist in my heart. but tis time i tink tat i should give it a rest.
noted@3:48 AM
free me to fly on my own

Thursday, September 21, 2006

im dead bored. n i missed him deadly.
noted@3:04 PM
free me to fly on my own

msn wif my ex-bestfren just now. u noe who. d one who argued wif azri n not so in good terms wif me. haha. ya, mr khaliff. anw, i changed my nick to a quote of love. if u love me, forgive me n never forget me. he nugded me n said, "i forgive u." wat d heck. so being me, sarcarstic n adventurous, i said, "so u love me?" he said, "i cant." i asked y. he replied,"becoz someone else love u n i dont intend to share it." haha. wat did he mean by tat sia. mepek.
noted@2:25 PM
free me to fly on my own

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

wats wrong wif me, again? cant seemed to sleep these days. even till now, my eyes opened wide. but my body's aching like crazy. gona pray subuh, then sleep straight after tat n tis. gona work later evening.

yesterday, gotta tok to my darling. we seemed so far yet so near. sometime, i felt so alone tat i forgot abt him. but tat doesnt mean i dont love him. love him to d bits n pieces. he's so wonderful n ryte n enuff for me. awk, i promise i'll treasure u sayang. i wont disappoint u anymore. i'll try.

im so proud of u for passing n getting first for ur i-forgot-wat-test-it-was. but im so proud of u sayang. i sayang u n rindu u many many much.

n awk, ape salah kite?
till im ask to pls not disturb u. bcoz u r confused? huh? i super dont understand. but wateva it is, i respect u n gona leave u alone. not gona bother u anymore. but wait, when did i bother u? okie. wateva. doesnt matter though. gona just pretend u've disappeared. im okie wif it.
noted@6:00 AM
free me to fly on my own

Monday, September 18, 2006

two days ago, ibu n bro n sis met him. n yesterday, my bro met hm. haha. life's coincidence.
noted@8:55 PM
free me to fly on my own

Saturday, September 16, 2006

couldnt sleep. anaz took me from workplace. we sat n talked till 11, then he went off. upon reaching hm, i got changed n on my lappy. ya, i went straight to yahoo games till i got a big huge headache. n my fingers sore so crazily. i couldnt sleep. bongkar my bro's rm n kidnapped his mp3. n i just laid back, hearing all d jiwangs. omg. i cried n cried n cried. shit.

awk, i knew i chose tt. but i intended to stay in ur life somehow. only even as a stranger. im sorie if i've caused u pain n hatrate. i didnt mean to confuse u though. mayb u hv a problem. i dono. y d fucking shit m i still thinking about u? i hate u so much.

and awk, kenape awk asyik nak sayang kite jer. u gave, give n will give me lotsa love. but i also want u to understand me. love n understand. awk, nape awk sayang kite sangat? im so confused n scared knowing tat u love me so damn much. i reli scared.

n kite. kenape kite nie emo sangat?! suke nah nangis. daydreaming nangis. tgk tv nangis. dengar lagu nangs. bingit ar!!!
noted@5:04 AM
free me to fly on my own

Friday, September 15, 2006

wat i headache. had been playing downloaded yahoo games since tis wee morning. omg.

azri called just now to tell me tat he passed gr8 for his napfa. good for him.
noted@1:02 PM
free me to fly on my own

Thursday, September 14, 2006

im sitting at wdlds civic centre wif ma n nadt. just lepakking around. haha. n im using ma's lappy to do tis entry. hehe. awhile ago, ma mentioned her conversation wif nadt.she said she predicted tat she would be left alone coz her chn would be old enough and too bz to spend time wif her. she would be onli. nadt mentioned tat would not happen if me n az would give ma a grandson/daughter to keep her company. i kept quiet, blushing lightly. haha. cheeky gal.
noted@7:24 PM
free me to fly on my own

Monday, September 11, 2006

jenny, i super hate u to d max!
noted@12:34 AM
free me to fly on my own

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

yesterday, he made me disappointed. but today, he just made me fly high up in the air.

dear god, pls dont let ever let me wake up w/o my ana by my side. should such a day were to come, i beg u to pls take me into ur arms while im asleep.

my love for u is one of the only thread tat binds me to this life. if it were to break, i reli pray tat my very fabric of life be burnt.

fan msged me just now. he were having his block leave. ya, we just msged. msg.
noted@12:15 AM
free me to fly on my own