Monday, January 23, 2006
wow. it has been a tiring day. mayb bcoz i felt sick. yesterday, i played in the rain wif anaz. though he scolded me not to. but being stubborn, ya. im bornt wif it. and ya, i got sick yesterday. and today. haiz. the headache has been accompanying me all day since last night.
aniwae, before today, here's the updates for dearest me, myself. last morning, i attended a mentoring program by the Mendaki. it was good. captured my interest even more. im more than enthusiastic to participate myself into volunteering. ive also signed up for the tutoring sessions. i think im bz enough wif skul, mcc, mss, tuition. but still, i wana fill up the rest of my precious time wif volunteering. just give me the satisfaction people really wana achieve. ya, true, i need the money. but for free services, mayb i'll get something better in return. happiness, longevity, peace. insya'allah.
msg wif fanlyn yesterday. oh ya. when will we ever gonna end, dwelling about the past. ya, it was the most saddening emotional event tat happen. but, i really wana move on. though sometimes i do daydream about the past. he said he once imagine me and him wif our daughters and sons. oh shit. there, it became a stormy and rainy night. tats me. i need to change myself and stop being so sensitive and such a cry-baby. ok full-stop about him.
anaz took me home yesterday. we walked around and around duno where. sat here and there. argued about minah mat and past. ya, we have different views and experience about life. i mean, i only know about 1% of the knowledge he has. i may not know but i do think a lot. a lot too much, i must say. ya. mayb, i should learn to shut up a little about my opinions. aniwae, like all people in the past, he gave in to me. and i know the reason. he love me too much to argue wif me. eating up his ego, for my sake. and i should scold myself for making him do tat. not tat i do aniting in particular. just the nature of things.
i rarely tell him this. but i do love him a lot. and i do appreciate all the little and big things he has done for me. his perseverence and patience to change and everything else. i love him for who he is. ya ya. i know. im one big ego gal. ego, stubborn yet so sensitive. haha. me me.
2nd year is going to end soon. i want part time job. omg. searching for tuition. and ya, mayb filling up my time with more volunteering work and expedition i can find. sometimes, i just feel sick and tired about skul. such draggy thingy. haiz. haiz. haiz. cant quit doing it. people should learn how to sigh positively. sigh and wake up to reality fact.
WAKE UP, LIYANA!!
noted@
6:54 PM
free me to fly on my own
