Friday, October 13, 2006

never in my 19 years of living have i ever hated anyone. until now. im starting to feel d gradual growth of hatrate towards my brother. n i hate d feeling of having to hate him. but he's just a loser. a miserable, terrible n gr8est loser i ever come across in my entire life frame.

n d other two r equally shallow-minded n selfish. purely spoilt-brats. n im tired of taking extra responsibility. esp if it's not working. they make me puke.

anaz. anaz. haish. quiet. but i believe we r as strong. circumstances may change how we act n react. but d feeling is still there n staying rooted.

skul's starting on monday. n im kinda looking forward. not bcoz of anyone's presence. myb just bcoz im tired being at hm, watching d idiot not going to skul n screwing up his life. he's a major idiot.

anw, today was my last day being a relief teacher at marsiling pcf b101 education ctr at wdlds. hehe. it has been a fulfilling experience. who would take up a job tat requires u to start at 8am n fin at 11am n then go hm? but i did. haha. it's kinda pathetic though, making ur way down to wdlds for just 3 hours. but like ibu mentioned, take it like an exercise. n im done wif it.

im gonna miss d kids super so much. n they're my first bunch of kindergarten kids. let me recall names.

rui min n shu min. they're boy/gal twins. cool.
andy n owen. another pair of twins. super cool ryte.
hazirah n hazikah. another pair of twins. super duper cool.

i noe. haha. 7 days wif them. i cant really tell them apart though. but i have had extremely good gut feeling. so i survived. haha.

who else? malays.....

sabrina. emilya. ayu. zulaikha. mazlaini. hanisah. adam. amirin. saif.

d gals, especially, love to give me cards n letters. in 7 days, they made me an official karung guni lady.

n d rest.....

rachel. qi en. hui shi. sharon. terence. wei qiang. kar zer. yi cheng. leon.

awards.

irritating, blur, super lazy n sloppy - wilson. i noe. im not suppose to label kids but i cant help it. i talk to him n he stares into space. we read books in class n he dug his nose. n more things u dont wana noe. haha. but i guess he's harmless. he smiles a lot. d selenge kinda smiles.

communication breakdown - xing shan. china gal. so ya, i practised lots of hand signals n gestures throughout d days tat im wif her. haha. how fun. hor fun.

anw, being a reflective person, i've learnt something about myself n how to deal wif feelings. most of d time, i experienced d feeling of being disappointed by d people i love around me. anaz. my family. my frens. but i guess d feeling is a choice made by me. too high expectations n being too hopeful r d reasons n causes of me being disappointed n frustrated. so i guess i should give myself a break n lay back for 1 second in every minute. i cant rule d air. i just rule my air. my oxygen.
noted@11:34 AM
free me to fly on my own